Tip 1.
Remember not to assume that everyone else's holidays are perfect. If you believe this then you're setting a standard that's too difficult to live up. Life does not always imitate 'feel good' movies and advertising on TV.
Tip 2.
Don't try to please everyone all the time; it's too much pressure and you probably won't achieve it. If an argument sparks off then that's life. The way you behave will have an influence however, so keep that in mind.
Tip 3.
Give a little. Everyone's lives are under some level of disruption during family holidays such as Thanksgiving, Eid, Passover, Diwali and Christmas. People are thrown together at festival times and tensions are bound to happen. Remember for every action there's a reaction- so if you are out to be resistant or moody, don't be surprised when the atmosphere goes sour. It may happen without you of course, but you could reduce the odds by leaving yourself out of the equation.
Tip 4.
Keep things in perspective. When it comes to gifts don't pay out more than you can afford as it will only make you feel worse afterwards. Festivals such as Christmas can be an emotional time for men and women alike, don't expect things to change for the better because of this. Like any other time of year holidays are largely what we choose to make them.
Tip 5.
Don't forget yourself. Some men only think of themselves anyway so for them this will come all too easily. Others think of the people around them too much. If you fall into the first category, re-read tip 3; if not then build in some time for yourself. If you've been around and helping out no-one should begrudge you a block of personal time for an activity you enjoy.
Tip 6.
Negotiate. What do you hate most about Christmas, Thanksgiving? Is it the shopping, carving the turkey, driving, the school event, what? It is the drip-drip effect that builds up stress so try to talk about and explore opt-outs or trade-offs with others. As long as you don't try opting out of them entirely you'll most likely achieve an objective or two?
Tip 7.
Stay in control. By this I don't mean take charge, just get involved with the events so that you have a say; know what's going to happen and add in some ideas of your own. Control is a fairly strong feature of many men's lives and it's not always easy to let go. Some men are all too pleased to let someone else take over. If you know yourself to be the type who likes to be asked and who gets tetchy if they aren't, then share in the activities.
Tip 8.
Avoid the rush. You know presents are part of the deal so don't leave getting them until the last minute. Use the Internet for gift shopping if you can't stand the thought of busy shops.
Give as you would like to receive. It is not just about giving presents, it's about your 'cred' too. Do not give household items to your partner (irons, waste bins, freezers), give personal presents that make them feel good about themselves
Tip 9.
Do not drink too much alcohol. It can make you do and say things you may regret, it is bad for your health and not good for your kids to see. Hangovers on family holidays do not mix!
Tip 10.
Relax & Enjoy. Holidays and festivals are often quite busy times so try to accept it. Don't let the odd set-back throw you off balance. The moment will come when you can put your feet up and relax.
